Kudu Dung Spitting

Kudu Dung Spitting
Real
Unlikely To Ever Become An Olympic Sport
10R2
Sport,Recreation
1997/09/25
Insane, How Do You Prove You Are Not?
Football
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster -- Terran Version

Author:
Paul Morrison�

Date:
1997/09/25


Kudu dung spitting, or 'Bokdrol Spoeg' as it is known locally by the Afrikaans community, is indeed a real sport.� There are even World Championships held every year.� As far as it is known, or anyone will admit, the formal version of the sport has existed since 1994.� It is unknown when the first informal game actually took place, but it is my guess that large quantities of alcohol were involved.

It is generally accepted that the idea for this event came from the fact that the Kudu [1] is a notoriously difficult animal to hunt.� Most often,all the hunter ever finds is the small pile of dung pellets that the Kudu left in an almost mocking fashion.� Due to some warped logic, it was then decided to use this dung in a competition to show the Kudu exactly what the hunters thought of this 'gift'.� Somehow I think the Kudu is sitting in the bushes laughing even harder at these guys because of this.

Rules

The rules are very simple.� The Kudu dung pellet spit furthest wins. Unlike most distance sports, the distance of the spit is measured according to where the pellet comes to rest, and not where it first hits the ground.

The competitor is allowed to perform any style of run-up he [2] chooses, the only restriction is that he must not step beyond the designated marker, usually a railway sleeper.

Preparation

Pellet selection is taken very seriously.� The piece of dung in question must have certain characteristics which identify it as a pellet worthy of winning the World Championships.� The consistency must be firm, not crumbly, otherwise the pellet could break up in the mouth, resulting in a bad aftertaste, and the ridicule of the other competitors.� Moisture is another factor.� Moisture content is directly proportional to how fresh the pellet is.� Even the most die-hard of competitors is unwilling to put a fresh pellet in his mouth, as this is just plain disgusting.

Spitting

There are many ways to spit the pellet, although all of them of course involve putting a piece of dung in your mouth.� This is, unfortunately, unavoidable.

Some contestants like to soak their pellets in a liquid shortly before spitting, as this increases the weight of the pellet, and thus the momentum of the pellet will be increased when it is spat.� This is where the moisture and consistency of the pellet are important, as one does not want the pellet to dissolve before delivery.� Many liquids are used, all of them alcoholic (understandably).� Most say that this is to get rid of the dung taste, but I think that it is to stop them thinking about what they are putting in their mouths.� Witblitz [3] and Mampoer [4] are drinks used often.

The pellet can be spat from a stationary position, or from a run-up, depending on how drunk the competitor is.� Each method has its own merits, but the style used by 1994 World Champion 'Slinger' van der Merwe, is most effective: He removes his false teeth before competing. As the Champion himself explains, it is very embarrassing to spit one's teeth further than the dung pellet.

Closing Ceremony

Everyone gets drunk [5].� This is accompanied by the South African tradition of a braai [6].

The Author of this article has never taken part in one of these contests, and probably never will.� In the words of Billy Connolly, this is something I am saving for when I am told I have cancer.


[1] Large antelope, measuring 1 to 1.5 m (3.3 to 5 ft) high at the ��� shoulder.� Lives in forested areas.
[2] It is always a he.� Women are not stupid or disgusting enough to ��� partake in this sport.
[3] A clear, cheap, highly alcoholic spirit.
[4] Local journalist Gus Silber describes Mampoer as "One part peach ��� brandy, two parts aviation fuel".
[5] Those who are already drunk don't seem to mind trying again.
[6] A Barbecue, only with better meat, and people who actually know ��� how to cook meat over a fire.

See also

Subtitle: 
Unlikely To Ever Become An Olympic Sport
Factuality: 
Real
PGG Author: 
Paul Morrison�
PGG Number: 
10R2
PGG Date: 
1997/09/25
PGG Xref: 
/articles/1S1.html
PGG Keywords: 
Sport,Recreation
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