Food Conspiracy, The

Ever wondered why, after eating a mass of food, you still feel inexplicably hungry? And then, with the consumption of more and more food, that hunger just grows, and is increasingly unquenched? It is possible that you have fallen victim to the marketer's latest development in the consumer war - the Enhanced Appetite Tonic (EAT).

EAT was developed in a secret laboratory somewhere in central Illinois, USA, and leaked reports confirm that its initial trials are nearly completed; a precursor to USA- and eventually world-wide trials.

Symptoms of the drug include increased appetite, and constant food consumption, culminating in sickness and bankruptcy. The only known cure is to avoid all food products containing the substance; a difficult task, considering the requirement for nutrition and the lack of detection.

At the very least, this may go some way to explaining why I managed to consume so many loaves of bread during my visit.