Since the dawn of time, people have been wondering about their universe. This is because they are lost and don't know how to get where they are going. Some of these people stopped wondering about, sat down and scratched their beards and thought. These people are called philosophers. The first thing to be deduced from this is that all philosophers are male. Certain people argue that the logic of this argument is flawed, but since most of them are beardless females no one listens to them. No philosophers anyway.
Philosophers often like to argue that the universe doesn't exist but is merely an illusion. This is rather a problem for them because university bursars don't like their existance doubted and often hold back imaginary salary from professors for doing imaginary teaching in imaginary lecture halls.
Another famous philosophical puzzle is the mind/body problem. This basically questions the connection between the mind and the body. Are we just machines? Or do we have some soul which affects the material body? For further discussion of this topic see articles on alcohol and other drugs.
 Scratching one's beard is a common pastime for philosophers as it removes toast crumbs left over from breakfast.
- Art Of Being, The