Bluffer's Guides, The

In the world today there are many specialist areas of knowledge that the average hitchhiker is expected to know, especially when the entity that you are hitching from wants to talk non-stop for seventeen hours, and then ask your opinion.

Nobody with a brain significantly smaller than a red giant could possibly absorb so many fields of knowledge, but luckily a hoopy group of towel carrying froods have come up with an alternative -- Bluffing!

The successful bluffer remembers key facts and sayings, and by careful application, manages to present the impression of a full-fledged expert.

For example, in Swanley, Greater London, England, you are not a local at the pub unless you've been there, drinking, every night, for five years. Obviously it gets difficult to think of new topics of conversation every night for five years, and a few things get repeated. Most common is the subject of cars -- and note that you are not allowed to be a bloke unless you also know about cars. Mark Steele, an aspiring local, learnt a few basic facts about cars and mentioned them, every now and again. These facts were:

"Austin Allegro?  All Rust and Aggro, more like!"
"Fiat? You know what that stands for, don't you?  Fix It Again, Tony!"
"Never get a Ford that's been made on a Friday.  All the lads at Dagenham
 go down the pub on a Friday lunchtime, and make all the dodgy ones in the
 afternoon!"
"Chrysler Avenger?  Chassis rots."

After a couple of years, they all thought he was a motor mechanic.

To help the hitchhiker discover all these basic facts and opinions, a series of small reference works have been produced by the much-underrated publishing company Ravette Limited, 3 Glenside Estate, Star Road, Partridge Green, Horsham, Sussex RH13 8RA, England. In a clever scam to disguise their works, they are classified as Humor. If the intrepid hitchhiker wishes to track these down, and finds that the address above has moved to another universe (as these things are prone to do, over time) the ISBN reference of The Bluffer's Guide to Computers is given as ISBN 0-907830-02-1.

Happy Bluffing in Accountancy, Advertising, Antiques, Architecture, Astrology, Ballet, Bank Managers, Beliefs, The Body, Cinema, Class, The Classics, Computers, Consultancy, Defence, Espionage, Feminism, Gambling, High Society, Jazz, Journalism, Law, Literature, Management, Marketing, Millionaires, Modern Art, Music, Opera, Philosophy, Photography, Politics, Property, Public Relations, Publishing, Secret Societies, Selling, Sex, Skiing, Stockbrokering, Success, Teaching, Television, Theater, Travel, Wine, World Affairs, The Americans, The Australians, The British, The French, The Germans, The Japanese, Amsterdam, Berlin, Hollywood, Hong Kong, Moscow, New York, Paris, and quite a few more!