Top Twenty-Six Ways To Kill Time

Top Twenty-Six Ways To Kill Time
Real
Top 26 Things To Do When Time Is Plenty
2R110
1994/07/16
Time, Dealing With Excess Of
Dealing With The Lack Of Time
Time
Elevators, Fifty Fun Things To Do In
Cats
Defecation
Weather And Your Health
Quantum Mechanics Of Sandwiches In Lunchboxes

Author:
Ryan Tucker

Date:
1994/07/16


Occasionally, when you are not dealing with lack of time, you are dealing with an excess of time. While rare, it can happen. So, enclosed below, are twenty-six ways to kill time.

**WARNING* Do NOT attempt to unplug an atomic clock! *WARNING**

  1. Organize. It never hurts to prepare for dealing with the lack of time.
  2. Work. It never hurts to get money to spend for the next time time is plenty!
  3. Clean dryer lint filter. This may be why you have soggy towels.
  4. Buy postal stamps. Every time I need a stamp, I just thank myself for stocking up on them when I was killing time.
  5. Write a Guide article. New field reporters accepted daily!
  6. Stock up on weather forecasts. Instead of wasting a few hours looking for a weather forecast, why not stock up on them? They usually last for 3-5 days, if kept refrigerated.
  7. Wax your automobile, if you have one. Preventative maintenance.
  8. Clean your GuideNET Terminal. Preventative maintenance.
  9. Remove arachnid webs from dwelling. They are known to annoy even the most unsanitary hitchhiker.
  10. Grease your lunchbox hinges. Squeaky hinges ruin appetites.
  11. Clean your air conditioner filter, if you have one. Allergies go bye-bye.
  12. Spend a day pushing buttons in an elevator.
  13. Learn CPR. You never know when your ticker will tick out.
  14. Learn the Heimlich Maneuver. You never know when you'll bite your last bite.
  15. Learn First Aid. You never know when you'll get a fatal injury.
  16. Get a GuideNET Update. Preventative maintenance.
  17. Ride the bus. Also good for killing money.
  18. Give blood. H+ is in demand.
  19. Cuddle your cat. Cats have feelings, too.
  20. Shoot your clock. That will defiantly kill time.
  21. Empty your rain gauge. Mine accumulated 4,000 centimeters one time.
  22. Watch television. Educational programs spawn more and more time, though.
  23. Read a book. You could actually LEARN something.
  24. Dip into public baths. Look for signs that say "Swimming Pool". (Note: some hitchhikers should pay special attention to this suggestion.)
  25. Observe vehicles traverse by. Watch out for city lawn mowers.
  26. Organize your lint collection. 'nuff said.

See also

Subtitle: 
Top 26 Things To Do When Time Is Plenty
Factuality: 
Real
PGG Author: 
Ryan Tucker
PGG Number: 
2R110
PGG Index: 
Time, Dealing With Excess Of
PGG Date: 
1994/07/16
PGG Xref: 
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