Computer Jargon Made Easy (Real)

Jargon In The World Of Computers

Author: Jenni Gregor
Date: 1994/05/23
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The following is a list of computer jargon, with a brief explanation.

Bus Error

Non-attendance of lecture, due to missing the bus.

Compilation

A list of the processors favorite errors. Such error compilations include "Now That's What I Call A Parse Error", and "Hard-core Core-Dumps, Vol 6."

Editor

Person who uses an editor - see editor.

Emacs

An editor designed for use by 2nd years, having it forced upon them by sadistic lecturers who insist it's much better than vi, but refuse to tell you how to use it.

Jargon

A term made up by computer experts as a euphemism for "talking shit."

JGregor

An output device connected to processor via a sun terminal which interrupts any logged on user with shite and surreal jokes (see mail tool).

Lab

A room where people in advanced states of inebriation retire to at chucking out time, to send silly and usually illiterate messages to their favorite victim - see mail tool.

Mail Tool

Used as a medium for people to annoy other users by sending rubbish jokes, then leaving the room before anyone decides to beat them up (the words pot, kettle, and black instantly spring to mind).

Parse

An amalgam of the two words "penis" and "arse", derived from the standard computer programmers phrase "I'll be BUGGERED if I can see the problem."

Segmentation Fault

What happens when you try to access a part of an orange you do not own.

Terminal

The condition of anyone who prefers playing Mud to sleeping, eating or drinking.

Vi

An editor designed for use by first years, having it forced upon them by sadistic lecturers who insist emacs is much better, but refuse to tell you how to use it.

Window

What most peoples tempers go out of when you just spent six hours writing an extremely difficult program and the system goes down.