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Stafford, England, UK, Earth (Real)

The Highlights And Lowlights Of Stafford (Mostly Lowlights)

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Stafford is the county town of Staffordshire in England, and probably the most boring place on the planet. If you ever find yourself in Stafford, here are the best ways to leave:

By Train

Stafford is on the main rail route between the south east and north west of England. Stafford Station is notable for not having a platform two, whilst being blessed with platforms one and three through to six. That just goes to show how interesting the place is.

By Bus

Busses regularly leave Stafford for the great metropolis of Wolverhampton and Stoke on Trent. From there you can probably catch a coach to Manchester, or even London if you have gone completely insane.

By Road

If you are blessed with a motor vehicle of some kind, then the M6 motorway offers a great route away from Stafford. It leads north to such great places as Preston, and south to the lunatic asylums of London and Birmingham.

Hitchhiking

If you are travelling by the One True Method, then the best places to hitch are the on ramps of the M6 motorway, at both the north and south ends of town.

If you stay in Stafford for too long, then there is a fair chance you will become unable to leave. In this eventuality your best bet is to seek out a public house, such as one of the following:

          The Sun Inn:  Good food, a good selection of beers, and a friendly
            atmosphere.  It's the sort of place to take your relatives to
            when they visit.

          The Forrester and Firkin:  A real ale pub.  They brew their own
            beer on site.  If you don't like students, then this is a place
            to avoid, otherwise it's not too bad.  No food though.

          Dougals:  A rock tavern.  The food is good, but only served at
            lunch times.  Each week night has its own theme, such as
            Thursdays being 70's rock night.  Not the sort of place to go
            if you like rap music.

The Bird in Hand: Another student pub, with more excellent beers.

          The Grapes:  Avoid like the Black Death.  Especially if you look
            in any way "weird."

          The Props:  This is more of a wine bar, but without the wine.
            It is open until 1am most nights (most English pubs close at
            11).  No food, limited number of beers, and the DJ plays "pop"
            music all the time.