Train Journeys, Ten Ways To Liven Up (Real)

Amusing Things To Do On Long Railway Journeys

Author: Tony Blews
Date: 1994/07/27
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Here are ten fun ways to liven up your average train journey:

1. While waiting for your train at the station, waste time by spotting trains. This involves painting filled circles on the sides of other trains. Please ensure that the train is stationary, otherwise you will be guilty of Train Striping.
2. When on the train, pretend you're on a roller coaster by waving your arms in the air whenever the train goes around a bend.
3. Lean out of the carriage window whilst the train is moving at high speed, in an attempt to have a limb amputated.
4. Pretend to be rabid, by filling your mouth with Sherbet and "foaming at the mouth."
5. Listen to some music on a personal stereo. The volume should be at a sufficient level so that everyone else can hear it but not quite make out what the tune is.
6. Attempt to consume a hot drink purchased from the Buffet Car. On English trains, this can be as dangerous as bungee jumping using dental floss as rope, due to the severe vibrations typically experienced.
7. Play Strip Dominoes, whilst trying not to get thrown off the train.
8. Pretend to be members of a rock band by repeatedly singed the same song over and over again, then smashing up the carriage, claiming Satan told you to do it.
9. When the ticket inspector asks for your ticket, tell him that your face is your ticket, and see if he punches it.
10. Annoy the other passengers by typing in Galactic Guide articles on a laptop computer with a noisy keyboard.