Amsterdam, Noord-Holland, Netherlands, Earth (Real)

The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Paradise For Ultra Cool Froods

Author: James Agay
Date: 1993/05/15
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As the well traveled Hitchhiker will know, there are few places on Earth that come close to being as cool a place to be as Amsterdam. This is even more true for a Hitchhiker. Amsterdam has many special features that make it ideal for the Hitchhiker:

1. It is well connected to everywhere in Europe via rail.
2. It is completely acceptable to sleep in any public facility, particularly the train station, airport, or on the surface of a subway platform.
3. Accommodation is cheap for the indiscriminate.
4. Drugs are legal and can be bought in bars from menus.
5. Item 2 has developed into a social reality as a result of item 4.
6. Anyone with a keen sense of where their towel is can ride the streetcars free, and on a good night even take a train out to the airport free.
7. Prostitutes pose in shop windows and give new meaning to the phrase "window shopping."
8. The good bars don't close until about 9:00 AM.

ACCOMMODATION

Due to the legality of drugs, it is very common to see youthful Hitchhiker-types lying sprawled about on the ground. They often collect outside churches, on benches, and around the Central Station.

If you find yourself trying to make it through Amsterdam on a budget that puts accommodation low on the list of spending priorities, then you are in luck. The best way to find accommodation is to be with a group of friends, intoxicate yourself severely (preferably with cannabis), and hope for the best. When you decide it's time to crash, try the train station: it's safer than further in town since there are porters that will probably prevent any major harm from befalling you.

If you have to rest in the outdoors, try to avoid the parks. When last I visited Amsterdam there was an average of one body found in the parks per night. (Mostly junkies OD'ing, but play it safe).

The well-heeled traveler may wish to stay in better surroundings. The airport is a good choice. Sneak onto a late night train to the airport from the central station. When you get out you will be near the baggage lockers. If you are lucky (and early) enough, you may find a table to lay on. The locker area is nice all around; it's quiet and dark. Try on top of the lockers - no one will bother you there. Sleeping on top of the locker banks earns respect.

If the locker area is full, another good part of the airport is the upper level of the concourse. Try the service elevator to the Admin area. It is both quiet and safe. The only disadvantage is at about 6:30 AM a floor polishing zambonie will come by.

BARS

Here a few places to look into:

1. The Bulldog (Basement ONLY; the upstairs is a tourist hole) Nice atmosphere, a bit pricy. Sells fancy varieties of hash.
2. The Grasshopper: nice location on the canal. Buy one drink and attempt to stretch it into several hours just to be in such a cool place.
3. La Rocha: my choice for late night. Open all hours, plus an attractive bamboo and grass decour. Good pool tables.
4. The Joystick: bit of a dive, but the price is right. Hangout for British Hitchhikers. Good place to meet people.

GENERAL TIPS

Find a locker - the Airport is good - and place all your valuables there. Where you are going, you won't need a watch. Don't carry ID. Just cash. Try to keep you cash, the bulk of it, well hidden. You wallet is a bad place. Attach you locker key to your person with string. If you decide to sleep outdoors with a bag, tie it to your shoelaces. If someone bigger then you wants something, run if you can. Never run without clearly knowing where you are going. Always have a safer-then-here spot in mind. You might otherwise end up in an even less safe alley. Watch out for junkies in withdrawal. They are mostly harmless but they can get nasty when looking for drug money. I had my hat stolen after arguing for twenty minutes over whether I should buy it back from the guy who took it for ten guilders so he could buy cocaine. Just be careful. They will usually settle for your hat once they understand that you have no money either. It is important to be able to prove that you have no money at all times.

See also

• Earth