Alcohol Guilt In Students (Real)

Students, Alcohol, and Guilt

Author: Angus Garfield Race, Dave Hodges' Guide (not available via Internet)
Date: 1994/05/01
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Alcohol, as has already been noted, has an intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based lifeforms. Guilt also has an effect but this is a detoxicating effect and this occurs mainly with students with their fundamental concerns with money, and goes something like this:

AFTER ONE PINT    - "oh God, that could have been a pound of mince"
AFTER TWO PINTS   - "God, that could have been two ring binders"
AFTER THREE PINTS - "God, that could have been thirty biros"
AFTER FOUR PINTS  - "God, that could have been a pascal manual"

...and so on ad infinitum

So as the alcohol intake goes up, the guilt therefore goes up. Eventually the two equalize at a point around six to eight pints therefore students cannot get drunk!

(Note: Students are found drunk quite often; this is due to guilt-reducing drugs, such as large quantities of alcohol.)