Alien Identification (SemiReal)

Some Handy Methods Of Alien Identification

Author: Tomi Suviola
Date: 1992/12/09
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Have you ever met an alien? Probably yes, but you were also probably unaware of the fact that he/she was an alien (i.e., extra-terrestrial). Here are some ways to identify aliens.

Sure cases of aliens:

1. If you see someone taking off his skin and revealing a coating of scales.
2. If someone is eating living mice, rats, cats, dogs, horses, elephants, humans and cars.
3. UFOs have landed and something has emerged from it.

Almost sure cases of aliens:

1. If someone changes his/her appearance very fast.
   (For example, in a phonebooth.)
2. Someone "loses" his/her pet animals daily/weekly.
3. Man/woman with three or more hands or/and legs.
4. Things that make intelligent sounds when touched.

Maybe a case of aliens:

1. Someone leaves slimy blotch in his/her bed at night.
2. His/her skin is red, green or blue.
3. Someone does not look like a normal human.
4. A person claims to be from outer space.

If you think that someone is an alien be sure before you blast them away. If there are many, you may call to someone to help. (Don't call the Police, since they probably think you are crazy.) If the aliens are friendly, Don't Panic. The only error you can make is to jump to a wrong conclusion.

See also

• Alien Elimination
• Faking UFOs