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Light (SemiReal)A Scientific Study Of Light In Our Dimension
Date: 1992/04/09 Agree? Disagree? : Have Your Say Buy Books About This Topic At: Amazon UK Amazon US Send This Article To A Friend: Email It Use Telepathy Light, according to really froody philosophers, is a severe lack of darkness; but as everybody else knows it's just ..., well it just is. Although its own existence is under question, light is known to be the most important thing in the universe (except for Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters) so this ultimate guide HAS to cover it somewhere. This being the case, I talked to some of the galaxy's leading light scientists and they had this to say: - Light is called light because that is what it is. I put 3 kg of light on my kitchen scales last week and it weighed nothing. As this clearly shows, light is the ultimate in lightness, so it just has to be called "light." - This is ridiculous, how can you seriously examine light when it does not even exist? There are two theories as to what light is, but they are both clearly (I'm not sure how anything can be clear without light) a load of fetid dingoes kidneys. Theory 1: Light is made up of waves - I have seen plenty of light (yes he
can see things that don't exist) and I have never seen it wave to me. I
am a very friendly sort of guy so anything that is a wave and still will
not wave to me can't exist.
Theory 2: Light is made up of matter particles - As somebody else said, 'I
put 3 kg of light on my kitchen scales and it weighed nothing';
something that weighs nothing obviously can't exist, so light can't
exist either.
- Let me go, I couldn't care less about light. This is Milliways, and I want to watch the end of everything. Be reasonable, if I can write a report on something like this, they will have to give me a knighthood and a Nobel Prize. I might even find some females who will talk to me. (Don't blame me, I talked to him but he wouldn't co-operate. 20th Century Earth scientists always were a problem.) - Light is the definitive subject of all science. Light defines the maximum speed for all matter (play in a Total Perspective Vortex for a while and you will realize that nothing matters though - that's why the principles of improbability physics and the Bistromathic drive work so well). Without light, nothing can exist; everything would be a black hole, and that is about as exciting as infinity according to a certain hyper- intelligent shade of blue. Shade of blue - that is a color - which requires light - I've done it, I've proved that light exists. (He was a little eccentric, but something in all of that must be right.) 'But one thing is true - light always behaves like light.'
-- my Year 12 Physics teacher.
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