Cows (UnReal)

Something About Extremely Silly Animals

Author: Peter Juul
Date: 1994/03/07
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Cows are extremely silly. They are ugly, too. They spend a large amount of time running around saying "Moo!" That is widely why
a lot of danes are rather furious about them often being depicted as jerks running around with hats that makes them look like cows.

In Denmark a rather special kind of cow exists: the climbing cow. It is a special kind of cow so mind-bogglingly stupid that it:

          A) does not know that cows cannot climb trees, due to them
             having hoofs instead of claws

          B) is afraid of dogs, although most dogs would be killed as
             soon as the cow sat down on it

Therefore, when a dog enters the scene, these climbing cows run to the nearest tree, climb it, and sit there discussing the quality of the grass in the field, and how the grass were so much greener back when they were young. (Cows have no long-term memory, so actually they are making it all up.)

Usually they forget why they climbed the tree and just sit around until they for some reason fall down and get killed.

The only reason cows have not all been shot is that they happen to make a rather yucky substance called milk, which some people like to drink.

See also

• Denmark, Earth