Dungeons and Dragons (Real)

No, you can't "win"

Author: John Floren
Date: 2005/10/15
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D&D is the first pencil-and-paper (PNP) Role Playing Game ever developed. In the 1970s, a couple of guys playing Chainmail (a war simulation game) realized that it would be more fun if you had orcs, elves, and trolls bashing each other instead of humans. They came up with basic rules for different races and added magic, then in 1974 released their work in the form of a few paper booklets titled "Dungeons and Dragons". The rules would continue to be modified, going through Advanced D&D First Edition, AD&D Second Edition, D&D 3.0, and finally D&D 3.5. D&D 3.0 was released after the franchise was purchased by Wizards of the Coast, who proceded to "enhance" many game features and of course create dozens of not-quite-required-but-kinda-important-to-have expansion books that each cost between $20 and $40. D&D 3.5 is simply D&D 3.0 with a few errors fixed.

The basic premise of D&D (like that of many RPGs) is that you take the role of a character in a created world; all actions and events are mediated by a Dungeon Master, or DM (usually an experienced player with a taste for masochism or sadism). You then direct your character's actions through various quests (available for $20 at your local bookstore!). These quests, or "modules", are often purchased, but some DMs create their own (read: DMs with fertile imaginations and too much free time create their own). A character is created by choosing a race (elf, human, half-orc, halfling, etc.) and a class (fighter, mage, cleric, druid, etc.), then rolling dice to determine the physical and mental attributes ("stats) of that character. Players rolling stats seem to roll higher when the DM isn't watching; however, no one questions this because higher stats are usually better for everyone involved. After creating their characters, the players start on the beginners quests, which usually involved beating up weak goblins and finding lost trinkets; at this point in the game, the warrior-types are especially strong, and the magic-users feel pretty stupid (since they can only cast a few really simple spells). As quests are completed, characters gain "experience points" (XP) and eventually gain levels. The game usually continues for months or years; unless the DM gets annoyed and kills off a character, most people get close to the max level (20). By then, the warriors are still tough and effective, but the spellcasters have become walking weapons of mass destruction, able to raise the dead or kill with a touch. It is not known if this phenomenon of some classes starting weaker and eventually gaining far more power is meant to teach a moral lesson about patience, as most players with a high-level wizard are too busy creating golden towers and conquering entire worlds to comment.

One of the greatest difficulties facing a D&D player is not figuring out how to defeat Zinfandar the Archmage, but rather is trying to explain the game to a layman. Usually the first question (after "what is is?") is "How do you win?" The correct answer ("You don't") usually causes confusion among the Monopoly-playing public, to whom the concept of working out a difficult puzzle or problem for no more reward than a handful of imaginary gold is a strange one. Possibly the second most-common comment from a non-player is, "Oh, you play THAT game? So-and-so told me it teaches you to worship Satan." This can either be much easier or much harder than the first question. Some people are quick to understand that although you can play an evil character, it makes the game harder, and that saying "I summon zombies to help me" does NOT actually teach you necromancy. Others won't get it; these are not worth arguing with, as they may try to exorcise you if you persist.

Advice for a hitchhiker? If you have time, get into a D&D game. If you can borrow books, the entry price is nil, and a session with a fun group of people can make for a very enjoyable exerience. Do not join a game unless you can get to most of the gaming sessions; it tends to tick people off (the DM especially) if you miss half of the game. If fantasy isn't your thing, there are D&D-based games set in modern or futuristic times; you can even play in a HHGTTG-themed game if you like.