Aggressive Giving (Real)

Gifts With Attitude

Author: Aaron Rice
Date: 1996/09/19
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The giving and receiving of gifts is, as many have observed, a well-founded ritual, whether it is a large party affair, with a large tree, or a small take-the-present-and-run session performed in so much of a hurry that you wonder if you're doing the right thing [1].

It is fair to say that many people, when presented with something new they don't have to pay for, will be quite happy to receive. However, if they do not desire the item in question, and perhaps to an extreme, it is possible that they will forgo the usual "thank-you"s, and move straight into rejection territory. Phrases such as, "I didn't want that one," and, "It's a pile of junk," are commonplace in these situations.

Of course, dislike is not always the reason for rejecting a gift. Other reasons include: concern for the "giver", as they may not really have the resources to make such an offer; rejection of the "giver" because you dislike them personally for whatever reason; or a lack of space with which to store the item in question [2].

The real problem, of course, comes when you are given a gift you must refuse, for whatever reason, and are unable to do so, because the "giver" is reluctant to allow it. They may also become violent before you, or they, must finally concede defeat. This is very common with the domestic cat, who will happily bring a dead bird [3] into your house, and attempt to award it to you. After numerous attempts to reject this gift, you will either be forced to accept it, and get rid of it as quickly as possible [4], or confine the cat to the outside until you can convince it that there's more fun in something else.

This is, by no means confined to pets, however. Another common area are family relations, who will have learned at some point that politeness dictates "never take without refusing first", and the follow-up, which is the "reiterated offer". Sometimes, two people will manage to end up in a loop, which will disintegrate into a full-scale argument, until the "giver" will eventually say something alone the lines of, "I don't see why I should give anything to you anyway." Perhaps this is victory, but you have to ask yourself if it was worth all the trouble. Maybe it's just simpler to say, "yes" sometimes.

[1]	So many things are done in a hurry when you're pretty sure you're not doing the right thing. This is usually because once something has been done, it cannot be undone, which leads to the "it's too late now," train of thought. It is actually a most effective way of setting things in motion that you wouldn't want to do in a million years.
[2]	Though this can be common, there are still many people who would still gladly receive a new fridge-freezer, even though they know it's a case of storing it on the most inappropriate, and unusable, place.
[3]	Bird, fish, mouse, or basically whatever they can find. The other thing to note is that it's not necessarily going to be dead, because cats prefer their prey to move; it's more fun that way.
[4]	Okay, you please yourself, but most people are not going to keep them.

See also

• Aggressive Shopping
• Busker's Arc
• Avoiding Items By Convention
• Easy Living, How To Survive
• Junk Mail, How To Avoid