Random Sort Method (UnReal)

Throw It Up In The Air

Author: Aaron Rice
Date: 1997/01/23
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Occasionally, even the most strict scientist will reach the point where all the formulae in the world cannot solve his problems. It is at this point where, if they wish to proceed, they must rely on luck.

One of the methods they might choose if they need to sort something, and wish to rely on the sheer luck of it, is the Random Sort Method (RSM). To perform this method, you must:

1. Obtain a blank piece of paper [1].
2. Tear, or cut, the paper into small pieces.
3. Upon each piece, write down a label for an element you wish to sort. Use one piece of paper for each and every element.
4. For mystical, or even pseudo-religious, effect you might wish to perform some sort of ceremony on the paper now. A song is usually good. A dance adds an extra air of authenticity [2].
5. Place all of the pieces of paper into a hat, or other container.
6. One-by-one, remove each piece of paper, and form a line on a desk, or failing everything else, the floor.
7. Record the position of each item, hastily appending notation to the effect that you have just performed something rather scientific, perhaps even explaining away the song and dance routine, if you saw fit to perform either or both of them.

In all actuality, if you are lucky enough, your efforts will have been observed by some invisible entity, which will have ordered those bits of paper for you, and may have sorted them into the correct order. Of course, if your luck if particularly bad, you may have encountered a largely evil entity who decided to completely jumble your work.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of invisible entities, it is usually difficult to prove their existence, and you will therefore have to remain ignorant of this. Under the unlikely circumstances that you are able to prove the existence of the above, please write an article about it, and forward to the Guide, post-haste.

[1]	Or several, if required.
[2]	But don't overdo it.

See also

• Luck
• Compression Sort Transform