I Would Really Like to See Someone Invent ...
I'd really like a device to warn people when I've consumed enough alcohol to render my brain inactive. Perhaps a flashing neon sign above my head telling all I've now passed beyond the gibbering stage into the totally incoherent. Possibly different colours to signify the extent of my self-induced disability. White for sober, green for wobbly, pink for garrulous, red for manic, and black for comatose. I wonder how such a device would react to the presence of LSD. Maybe a technicolour firework fest with the obligatory sonic booooooom!!!
Next time a dog comes charging at me with throaty growls and bared teeth I'd really like to point my finger toward it and shoot out a cloud of instant sleeping gas. A snappy solution to a very noisy and scary problem. A possible development of this could be the nerd zapper.
There are few things I find more peaceful and relaxing than the sight of fish mooching about in a large and well cared for tank. Unfortunately they're never available at times of extreme stress such as when you've just missed the last bus home or you've lost your car keys down a sewage pipe or you're just about to be assaulted by a gang of crowbar wielding thugs. What's needed in these situations is an inflatable fish tank you could erect in the street in order to sit and relax whilst coming to terms with the situation.
Possibly an inflatable table and chair could be provided as accessories so you could have a meal whilst watching the fish. I'm sure this would reduce even the most stressful situations to a more acceptable level and therefore make the world a happier place.
All too often I find myself without any reading material. I've brought a book out with me but find it had fewer pages than I had thought. Much of the bulk of the book being taken up with notes on the author, the references, other books by the same author and famous suits once seen in the same town as the author. What I need is a word jumbler which I can use on the book to change the words around so as to create a completely new story from the same book. This would mean I might never have to buy another book ever again. A truly worthwhile item for all those who wish to make the most of their book purchases.
Now, I'm aware that this has already been invented but I don't think we make the most of this marvellous material. All too often we spill wine, soup, beer, tea, gravy, tomato sauce and all manner of things on the carpet only too see it soak in and disappear from view. If we laid linoleum in such a manner as to form ridges and circles we could collect some of the spillages and use them to create a most excellent base for a stew.
It's little things such as these which need to be addressed by modern day inventors. Forget splitting the atom and all that irrelevant wibble. We're looking toward a brave new world of modern comforts and pocket sized solutions.
Buy your innovations catalogue today.