|
|
|
|
|
| About | |||||||||
Listie, Pennsylvania, USA, Earth (Real)Quaint Doesn't Even Begin To Cover It
Date: 1998/11/22 Agree? Disagree? : Have Your Say Buy Books About This Topic At: Amazon UK Amazon US Send This Article To A Friend: Email It Use Telepathy Listie is a small town approximately an hour and fifteen minutes east of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, off of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Listie is the epitome of redneck small-town white-trash behind-the-times America, and that is what makes it such an interesting place for the intrepid hitchhiker! Listie is the sort of town that only the most capable hitchhiker should enter, for the natives thereof are not exactly friendly to unusual looking people. Hitchhikers possessing more than four limbs and/or more than five digits on each extremity are hereby advised to stay away from Listie, for the natives there view anything not vaguely humanoid as "game" and are likely to use primitive firearms in order to kill/maim the unsuspecting hitchhiker. However, for those of us who have humanoid characteristics, Listie is one of the more interesting places to spend a weekend evening. The main place of social interaction in Listie is called Fitzie's Pub. Fitzie's is a small, dingy looking bar that has seen much hard use by the natives, and has probably even seen it's better days (though imagining Fitzie's to be in any other shape borders on the impossible). Many a resident of the surrounding area had his/her first drink at Fitzie's (most at not much older than birth!) This causes a fierce loyalty to the place, and one definitely should not make fun of Fitzie's when any true Listieman is near, for bodily harm could ensue. The second main attraction of Listie is 4K's recycling, where one can convert almost anything to cash. 4K's will recycle everything from soda cans to copper, even if that copper is still inside the radiator and the radiator is still inside your car. Needless to say, 4K's is a large source of revenue for the town, especially for Fitzie's, as most of the cash gained at 4K's is spent at Fitzie's. The only other thing of note in Listie would be Flick's taxidermy. Here is the place that most of the older male residents of Listie owe large quantities of money, due to the fact that a native Listieman's second passion, after the shooting and killing of unusual and/or tasty critters (and they don't have much of a discerning taste), is having their victims stuffed, in order to be put on display in their homes as a sort of barbaric trophy of their accomplishments. Again, the hitchhiker must beware, for if he is found to be fair game, this could be his fate. All in all, Listie is an interesting and somewhat unusual place, one that most of us would not like to live in, but rather just point out and ridicule occasionally. Just not within earshot of Listie.
See also |
Inspired By
|
||||||||
