Professions: Balloon Animal Sculptor (UnReal)

Warning About Appreciation Of This Profession

Author: Dan McDonald
Date: 1995/03/08
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An advertisement said:

          "Have a BLAST with BALLOON ANIMALS!!
           Impress your friends and be the center of attention!"  

Or, I might say, get mistaken for a clown.

The Internet Truth-In-Advertising committee has issued the following advisory in the wake of this advertisement:

Contrary to what some recent balloon animal suppliers' bombastic advertising may have lead you to believe, the International Social Acceptability Standards (ISAS) committee's rating scale still remains:

1. Movie Stars
2. Major Political Figures
3. TV Stars
4. Millionaire Playboys

[...]

426. Frisbee-catching Dog trainers
427. Jugglers
428. Clowns (non-big feet & flower)
429. Contortionists
429. Balloon Animal Sculptors         <=== NOTE: CONSIDERABLY LESS COOL
430. Clowns (big feet & flower)                  THAN MOVIE STAR.
431. Mimes
432. Professional Panhandlers

Note, however that "Obscene Balloon Animal Sculptor" can be rated as high as 257 when used "for cocktail party entertainment only." (ISAS Code Sec. 17, para 129, ammended 12 Oct. 1994)