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Taco Moose (UnReal)The Most Popular Fast-Food In The Universe
Date: 1996/12/18 Agree? Disagree? : Have Your Say Buy Books About This Topic At: Amazon UK Amazon US Send This Article To A Friend: Email It Use Telepathy Taco Moose Restaurants were founded millenia ago by Colonel Harlan MacDonald on a small planet in the Southern spiral arm of the galaxy. It has grown in popularity over the years as the chain has spread its stores throughout the universe. The fast-food establishment's specialty, the Taco Moose Soft-Shell Moose Taco, is made with the Colonel's Seven Secret Moose and Spices, real shredded Moose Meat, synthetic vegetables, and the secret special Moose sauce, all wrapped in a soft Moosey shell. All of this "Moosey Goodness", as the Colonel was fond of saying, has propelled Taco Moose into the number one slot of intergalactic fast-food franchises. The moose themselves are hand-reared on the planet Bulewenkel in the Crab Nebula and only the choicest cuts make it to the restaurants, which hardly matters as they are then dipped in 30-weight grease, fried for four hours, reprocessed, reconstituted, regurgitated and reflavoured, and then sold for a measly $0.98 to the consumer population. The latest Galactic Department of Health survey of the restaurant did not rate it highly. Along with the Taco Moose Soft-shell Moose Taco, the restaurant offers its special Back-Bacon Moose Fritters (the less said about these, the better) and Moose Cola which tastes as if someone has run a pair of old high-school gym clothes through a mulcher. In a word, avoid the Taco Moose establishments. We know they're popular; we know that there's a free toy inside every Moose Meal; we know that they have the $0.98 value menu; but we also know about botulism. Get the picture? |
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