Einstein, Albert, The Non-Existence Of

At the height of scientific confusion, Albert Einstein was created to explain all the mysteries of man. Unfortunately his creator, Sir Godfrey Joseph, killed him off before he managed to answer everything, and despite his "resurrection" two years later, people were rather less inclined to believe in a walking-talking fictional corpse. His "return from the dead" was only covered by a couple of small local newspapers, and then only because there were no tree-bound cats that week.

Many of "Einstein"'s theories were the product of Sir Godfrey's notorious illegal late-night drinking sessions with his chums at the local pub, and what can only be described as a deranged imagination. Unfortunately, he was so good at his work that everyone totally believed everything he wrote, and still do to this day.

In addition to this, other papers have shown that more great philosophers, inventors, and people generally regarded to have made a massive contribution to society, were also created from the deranged imaginations of various little-known members of the nobility of past centuries.

Why, you may ask, did they do this? Well, speculation veers towards the theory that they were bored and had nothing else to do. However, a few of them, most notably Lord Walter Smithers, were also very interested in grabbing poor people off the streets, and burying them under a mound of concrete [1]. He still had time, however, to create the great Leonardo DaVinci.

It was unfortunate that Sir Godfrey died two days before his creation was presented with an achievement award. He has, to this day, remained uncredited for his work.

See also

• Alternate Universes
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• Light, Space, Time, And Imagination
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