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Politically Correct, How To Be (Real)A Short "How-To" In Getting To Be Politically Correct
Date: 1998/01/02 Agree? Disagree? : Have Your Say Buy Books About This Topic At: Amazon UK Amazon US Send This Article To A Friend: Email It Use Telepathy
Today, the world is filled with people who believe that saying rude things can actually cause someone so much psychological pain that they will instantly turn into a trout! Thus, in order to stop everyone from turning into trouts, they devised a special system of codes that let someone know they are being rude, all the while keeping their words impersonal and scientific. What a trick! And now you, yes you, can do this same amazing feat. Amaze your friends by insulting them, but without causing them psycho-trauma! Here's how: Do you see how that worked? Let's look closer at Step 2: "Short" became "vertically-challenged." "Fat" became "horizontally challenged." Note the "-challenged" part: that is the most important thing to get this simple speech-mask to work. Pick the most scientific word you can thing of to describe a condition, then throw in "-challenged". For example, the deaf are "auditorially-challenged". You now know the secret to speaking to people without turning them into trouts. This type of speech is best used in the United States, where people actually cannot say more than four words without an insult. With luck, and this article, they will become more caring and compassionate, as you see here! See also |
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