* * Archive: REAL20.NEW * * Created on: Tue Aug 3 15:24:41 1999 * * Number of articles: 5 * * Welcome! This is one of the files that goes to make up the archives of * Project Galactic Guide. To find out what the heck PGG is, go look at its * main Web site at , where you'll be able to find * an FAQ. * * * The articles in this file are: * * Elephants-3 Elephants, Charging, How To Avoid * RomanNumerals-2 Roman Numerals * Conversation-3 Conversation Entry Point * Sjovik-3 Sjoevik, Smaaland, Sweden, Earth * Ignorance-3 Ignorance, A Defence In Law * %t Elephants, Charging, How To Avoid %n 6R94 %s Something You Really Want To Get Right First Time %a Paul Morrison (pfm@iafrica.com) %d 19980417 %i Charging Elephants, How To Avoid %i Avoiding Charging Elephants %e Most of us are aware of the dangers of being charged at by an elephant [1], or any large African mammal for that matter. It is not an experience that you would like to endure on a regular basis. In fact, it is not an experience that you would like to experience at all. The usual symptoms of an elephant charge are intense body shape reconfiguration and/or death. The best way to avoid being chased by an elephant is of course to avoid elephant inhabited areas at all costs. The easiest way to do this is of course to avoid going to Africa. In fact, with the poaching that has been going on, there are even vast areas of Africa which are completely elephant free. Other elephant areas are zoos and circuses. Elephants in these two areas are very likely to be a tad miffed at their confinement, and so might wish to take out their frustrations on the surrounding human population. This results in some promising elephant charge situations in the comfort of your own neighbourhood. If, however, you are one of those intrepid folks who has to go and see an elephant for yourself in the glory of its natural habitat, then there are certain steps which can be taken to avoid a nasty gory death. Turning around and going straight home would be my first advice, but obviously that is not too practical. If you are observing an elephant at either a zoo or circus, then my advice to you is to keep note of all emergency exits, and to ensure that there is always a group of young children between you and the large grey beast. If you are on a visit to see an elephant in it's natural habitat, then there are slightly more precautions you need to take into consideration. Firstly, despite popular opinion, brandishing a mouse at an elephant in the same way as one brandishes a cross at a vampire will have no effect. In the same vein of thought, having a bag of peanuts in your pocket will not incite an elephant to carve a hole in your vehicle and/or you in an attempt to get them. It would much rather have some of that yummy bark from a nearby Acacia tree. The most important way to remain safe is to stay inside your vehicle. Except for the occasional incident where an elephant attempts to get romantic with your 4 by 4, you are quite safe. Despite this knowledge, many people still insist on abandoning the relative safety of their vehicles to get closer to an elephant. The reason for this is often an attempt to get a better photo or video of the elephant, but in reality it will most probably allow someone else to get their photo/video of you on the evening news, as you attempt to break land speed records when running away. Up to now, all of the situations described (except for leaving your vehicle) are unlikely to result in an elephant charge. It is those people who venture into elephant territory on foot who are most at risk. Most of the places that you can travel on foot in elephant territory are game reserves. This is a good thing as this usually means that you can hire someone to show you the way, as well as make sure that you do not die, which is always a nice bonus. The guides that you can hire for these trips are vastly experienced, and well versed in the ways of the African wilderness. They also carry big guns. The fact that the guide would rather lose a tourist or two than shoot an elephant should not worry you. Really. If, after all of the previous advice fails you, or you failed to pay attention to the advice, and you do find yourself being charged by an elephant, there are a few things you can do. 1) You can stand still. Although this is logically regarded as the best thing to do in this situation (this is because most elephant charges are bluffs) I'd like to see you try and stand still when there are several tons of miffed elephant moving towards you at a high rate of knots. 2) You can run away at high speed. This would seem to make the most sense at first, but an elephant can move much much faster than you. Trust me on this fact. So if you are moving at a rate which you think would threaten the 100m world record, chances are you will receive a hefty dose of tusk up the rump, leading rapidly to the previously mentioned evening news appearance. 3) You can climb a tree. This is a very popular way to escape an elephant. You must exercise good judgement when choosing which tree to climb, as many African trees tend to have rather large thorns. You may not care too much about that when you are first climbing the tree, but if you get trapped up there for several hours, you will wish you had chosen a more comfortable piece of real estate. You must also ensure that the tree you climb is too big for the elephant to push over, for obvious reasons. 4) Finally we have my personal favourite. Run away, making sure that there is someone slower than you running behind you. This might sound cruel, but hey, survival of the fittest. Literally. If after even this advice fails, and you get caught by the elephant you can do two things: you can scream and try to beat the elephant away, or you can play dead. If you attempt the former, chances are you will merely make the evening news video even more exciting. If you attempt the latter, you must just hope that the elephant does not step on something important like your head, or even more important, your camera. Eventually the elephant should grow bored, and move away to brag of his achievement to his buddies at the water hole. I am not too sure what you should do after an elephant has successfully charged you, but I am fairly certain that a visit to the local emergency ward is a good place to start, followed by several months in traction and rehabilitation. If you have successfully avoided the elephant charge, all you have to do is learn how to avoid attacks by: lion; hippo; rhino; cape buffalo; crocodile; and possibly most importantly, tourist shops. DISCLAIMER: The author of this article has not actually been on the receiving end of an elephant charge. Thus he must not be held responsible for any damage resulting from the adhering to of his advice. Instead the author recommends that you stay at home and watch the evening news to see elephant charges. Not only is this much safer, but it is much more entertaining. [1] As you know (I hope) there are two species of elephant, the Indian and African. The African version is considered the nastier of the two, and so for the purposes of this article, every reference to an elephant should be seen as a reference to the African elephant. %e *EOA* %t Roman Numerals %n 9R41 * Edited by trainee Tony Blews, overseen by Roel (8) and Aaron (9) %s Count With The Romans %a Aaron Rice  (elemental@mcmail.com) %d 19970603 %i Numbering Systems:  Roman %i Numerals, Roman %i Systems Of Numbering:  Roman %i Counting, Roman %i Figures, Roman %e Roman Numerals are an ancient way of numbering, involving different symbols, and a slightly different principal from our usual decimal manner. The following key symbols are used:           * I = 1           * V = 5           * X = 10           * L = 50           * C = 100           * D = 500           * M = 1000 They are combined together to form a string, where the progressively decreasing numbers are added together to form a total.  Numbers are generally expressed in descending order, except where the number you wish to express (say 9) is next to the relevant number above (10), in which case they are expressed in terms of number minus number (10 - 1) [1].  Note that only one alteration symbol is allowed, so 8 cannot be represented by "IIX". The following is an example of using symbols out of order:           * CM = (100)(1000) = 1000-100 = 900 In this way, all numbers can be reproduced (to a point).  Here are some examples:           1) 1997 = MCMXCVII = 1000+(1000-100)+(100-10)+5+1+1 =              1000+900+90+7.           2) 1066 = MLXVI = 1000+50+10+5+1.           3) 414 = CDXIV = (500-100)+10+(5-1) = 400+10+4. There is no symbol for zero. [1] Though sometimes numbers are still expressed in the first way, such     as in one representation of 4 ("IIII"), whereas the "normal" is "IV"     (5 - 1). %e *EOA* %t Conversation Entry Point %n 6R95 %s A Necessary Point To Enter A Conversation %a Aaron Rice (elemental@mcmail.com) %d 19970702 %x Avoiding Conversations %i CEP Trigger %i Triggers, Conversation Entry Point %i Entry Point, Conversation %i Point Of Entry To A Conversation %e If you find it difficult to start a conversation, what you are in need of is a "Conversation Entry Point" (or CEP). Basically, this is a point at which you can start, while seemingly continuing, a conversation. The idea runs thus: silence, CEP trigger used, conversation in full swing. It sounds simple, and it is. All you actually need is the appropriate CEP trigger. This can be obtained easily from any previous conversation, and can then be used as a "follow up", as in: "You know what you were saying about (insert what-ever-it-was here)...?" Variations are possible, but this will allow you to immediately express further opinions, arguments, or whatever you want. Of course, if you haven't partaken in a conversation already, you may have to pick a topical event that you and your companion are both aware of. Say, for example, a political scandal, or a sporting event. Something like "That (insert name of politician) was really stupid, wasn't (s)he!" Sometimes this will be unsuccessful - especially if your companion is not in the least bit interested. Also, you may want to pick an entry point from another conversation in which you didn't participate, but are otherwise aware [1]. You may use the CEP trigger: "You know what you were saying to (whoever) about (whatever)?" This may work well, but on the other hand, you may aggravate a companion that doesn't like being "overheard". Finally, you may be able to purchase a book of pre-prepared CEP triggers, which should be tailored to work in a whole variety of circumstances. On the other hand, you may not. [1] For various reasons. Usually because you overheard. Definitely not because you were earwigging, oh no! %e *EOA* %t Sjoevik, Smaaland, Sweden, Earth %n 8R92 %s Sjoevik, The Thorn In Everybody's Life %a Dennis Roren (dennis.roren@nexus.se) %d 19980325 %i Sjovik %x Earth %x Sweden: The True Story %x Sweden, Earth %x Skoevde, Sweden, Earth %x Linkoeping, Sweden, Earth %x Trosa, Sweden, Earth %e Sjoevik, a thorn in the side of everybody's life: living there is like having a `pain in the ass' that won't go away. People living here are not happy to be living here, but continue to do so in the incorrect assumption that it is as good as any place to live in. Sjoevik lies in an agricultural area, outside the town of Naessjoe. Actually it lies even closer to the little town Bodafors and the little town Saevsjoe. Life in the little place called Sjoevik (or Norra Sandsjoe, as it is also called), is pretty slow. Not that nothing ever happens -- sure, things happen all the time, but nobody really cares. That is because sooner or later everything will be back to normal again, and everybody living there can get on with their usual business. If you somehow manage to fly your way here, it's pretty harmless to land here, as long as you keep a low profile. To blend in with the people living here, take your time to do whatever you want to do, and nobody will ever notice you've ever been here. Don't leave your towel or any other part of your luggage lying around, or it might just be plowed down by one of the farmers living around the place. I lived here for a couple of years and haven't noticed any change in lifestyle during that time. As I left, it was as if I had never been there... Not a place for more than passing through, perhaps a leg-stretcher before moving on to some more interesting places. It might be a good place to live for a while if you don't want to leave a trace of your visit when you leave. %e *EOA* %t Ignorance, A Defence In Law %n 8R93 %s Is Ignorance A Defence? %a Aaron Rice (a.rice@ukonline.co.uk) %d 19970612 %x Ignorance %i Law, Ignorance As A Defence In %i Defence In Law, Ignorance %k punishment %e "Ignorance is no defence!" How often have you heard that? How often have you also thought to yourself that if the person-in-question knew it was wrong, they wouldn't have done it in the first place? Of course, if is perfectly fair to say that when partaking in anything that relates to any aspect of law, it is a good idea, and in fact considered your responsibility, to make sure you know the rules. It is also fair, however, to say that when those rules are far and wide it can make matters a little difficult, unless you happen to be a memory freak [1]. Law is also a complex area for the amateur, which at the last count includes roughly everybody. You should, however, know some basic pieces of law that get you by; for example, it is generally known that the legal system severely frowns upon theft, arson, and murder [2]. There are other areas, though, that prove to be a little more lazy, and even the upholders of the law in question are unsure about them. One might ask at this point about the concept of punishment, and what it is supposed to achieve. The following are some options: a) A Deterrent. The idea of the "punishment" is to discourage people from performing the crime in the first place. The theory is that, seeing as you might have to pay a fine of one hundred pounds for not paying a fifty pound tax, it is probably a good idea to pay it. b) A Punishment (of course). This is to take you to one side and say, "That was bad." This can be seen as a future deterrent (ie. do it again, and we do this again to you), and also... c) A Preventative. The principal here is if you are, for example, in prison, you cannot kill anyone else (present company excluded). On a claim of ignorance, a deterrent is irrelevant; you simply do not know about it, and therefore cannot avoid that which you know nothing about. A cry of "I know nothing" against punishment is also seemingly sensible; you did not know that it was the wrong thing to do, so a punishment is basic stupidity (ie. "Don't do it again!" vs. "If I knew it was wrong, I wouldn't have done it in the first place!"). But then you might say, "Okay, you didn't know -- prove it". This might be more difficult than you think. It is very easy to prove knowledge, but to prove ignorance is a little more tricky. In the end, a balance should be made. The following are a few questions that could be asked: 1) Was there the opportunity to find out whether the act was illegal? 2) Were you capable of doing so? 3) Did you try? 4) If you failed, did you try again? 5) Did you try hard and find nothing? 6) Did you even suspect the act was illegal? 7) Did you think it might be a little bit _wrong_ [3]? If the answers to those questions imply innocence, perhaps that is exactly what you are. The essence of criminality is intent, and if you can prove that your crime is not one of intention, that is surely some defence. [1] Don't think about it. If you are one, you'd remember. [2] Actually, this depends on the country in question. In some parts, these are, or at least appear to be, the basic essentials of society, and the abilities to perform them are sometimes a qualification for high office. [3] To explain further: do you think that what you did _could_ or _should_ be illegal? %e *EOA* * * End of file: REAL20.NEW * Share and Enjoy! *