* Id: 2U58 * Revision: 1 * State: reviewed * * Log: * Revision 1 1994/06/02 Matthew David Aldous * Original archived version. * * Withdrawn 1999/10/24 * Removed on Roel's request: ``And please please please take out 2U58 * which is a shit article that I once submitted.'' %t Kevinlian %n 2U58 %s The Planet Kevinlian, The H&R Kevlin Store, And Alien Kevin Lentin %d 19940602 %a Matthew David Aldous (aldous@mundil.cs.mu.OZ.AU) * ... and Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Alien Identification %e Kevin Lentin (kevinl@NewsServer.cc.monash.edu.au) states Australia has a caffeine maximum of 48.5% per something, with something being something like 100 ml. From 48.5 per cent caffeine per 100 ml he concludes a can of 375 ml would be 182% caffeine, which he thinks is cunning. Who actually is Kevin Lentin? This guy is an alien from the planet Kevinlian and he was sent to Earth recently to set up a trading business with us Earthlings. He owns a store called H&R Kevlin and business is based on the difference between mathematics of Kevinlian and Earth. For comparison: Earth Maths Planet Kevinlian ----------------------------------------------- 10 mls in 100 is 10 % 10 mls in 100 is 10% 48 mls in 480 is 10 % 48 mls in 480 is 48% "%" is on Earth pronounced "per cent", something a Kevlinian might get confused with. "Per", meaning "part of", "cent" meaning "100", "percent" thus meaning "parts of 100." To even think 182 fits into 100 without putting your gagga-vision goggles on requires an extreme mental loop-de-loop, but Kevinlians *can* do that. In several newspapers you might have been able to read the following advertisements, announcing the opening of his store: *H&R Kevlin* is now open! o Told you can claim 20% ? o Want that extra return ? o Fed up with sensible logic ? Bring your return to H&R Kevlin; we're we'll turn that 20% return into 437%! That's right! Governments actually PAY you for using us! Some of our happy customers include... o Hillary Clinton o Alan Bond o Pres. Aquino %e *EOA*