* Id:  BertMullins
* Revision:  2
* State:  approved
*
* Log:
* Revision 1  1997/06/03  Aaron Rice <elemental@mcmail.com>
* Initial submitted version.
*
* Checked-out  1997/12/07  John Murphy <john@megadodo.com>
*
* Checked-in with
* Revision 2  1998/12/03  John Murphy <john@megadodo.com>
* Edited and author-approved.
*
* Checked-out  1999/05/06  Mark Seaborn <mseaborn@bigfoot.com>
*
* Withdrawn  1999/08/02
* Didn't receive a very favourable response in the review session.  Aaron,
* the author, decided to withdraw the article.

%t Bert Mullins's Theory Of Relativity
%n 10U Confirmed
%s Mullins Vs Einstein
%a Aaron Rice  (elemental@mcmail.com)
%d 19970603
%i Relativity, Bert Mullins's Theory Of
%i Theory Of Relativity, Bert Mullins's
%i Mullins, Bert, The Theory Of Relativity
%k Relativity
%k Cheese
%k Science
%k Para-Science
%e
The central point of the experiments of Dr Bert R Mullins, a Welsh
doctor of philosophy, space, time, and cheese rolls, was the relation
between space and time (and cheese rolls).  He hypothesised that time
and space meet at two points, the second of which, they meet with cheese
rolls.

The basis of this theory is unclear to many, though Dr Mullins insists,
in his paper "Time, Space, Cheese," that it takes a special sort of mind
to work around the equations.  He also comments that Einstein was clearly
a peanut butter man, and just didn't understand.

The connection is shown in the following equation:

  Energy = Mass * Cheese^2

The relevance of the roll is not at all clear here, but Dr Mullins goes
on to comment that the absence of a roll induces a minuscule inaccuracy
in all results calculated, and was merely included to fill a "hole".

Recent criticism that he was clearly obsessed with cheese, and that his
doctorate was a result of an administrative error have been strenuously
denied.  Dr Mullins has, unfortunately, been unable to make a personal
statement, as every time someone tries to ask him, he is out to lunch.
%e
*EOA*