* Id: CNU * Revision: 1 * State: submitted * * Log: * Revision 1 1998/03/31 Semolina Pilchard * Initial submitted version. * * Checked-out 1998/10/12 Alex McLintock Return-path: Received: from golden.argonet.co.uk [194.131.104.13] by bg34.argonet.co.uk with pop3 (ANTmail1.29b) id po03239d5; Mon, 30 Mar 98 16:18 +0100 Envelope-to: mseaborn@argonet.co.uk Delivery-date: Mon, 30 Mar 1998 06:10:32 +0100 Received: from (lemur) [199.232.112.37] (root) by golden.argonet.co.uk with esmtp (Exim 1.81 #3) id 0yJWq6-000211-00; Mon, 30 Mar 1998 06:10:30 +0100 Received: from drake.cnu.edu ([137.155.12.210]) by lemur with esmtp id m0yJWuL-00000uC (Debian Smail-3.2 1996-Jul-4 #2); Mon, 30 Mar 1998 00:14:53 -0500 (EST) Received: from cnu.edu ([137.155.12.109]) by drake.cnu.edu (8.8.5/8.6.9) with ESMTP id AAA04675 for ; Mon, 30 Mar 1998 00:03:04 -0500 (EST) Message-ID: <351F299B.46502226@cnu.edu> Date: Mon, 30 Mar 1998 00:11:56 -0500 From: Semolina Pilchard X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (Win95; I) MIME-Version: 1.0 To: submit@megadodo.com Subject: Submission -- Christopher Newport University Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable X-MIME-Autoconverted: from 8bit to quoted-printable by drake.cnu.edu id AAA04675 Status: X-IS-UID: 891274938 Christopher Newport University is an unfortunate school existing in Newport News, Virginia, for good and for evil. If you ever ask someone what college they attended and the answer is “Christopher Newport University,” the traditional response is (if you are not from the vicinity of Newport News) “What’s that?” or (if you are from the vicinity of Newport News) “I’m sorry.” Despite the constant complaining of students at CNU (pronounced as in, “If you’re lucky we won’t be CNU here on campus”), the school is a rather interesting place to be, as long as you aren’t too keen on partying or marquee collegiate athletics. Students find the former off-campus, and the latter at one of those universities that is hundreds of years old and has lots of buildings with Roman columns individually named after wealthy benefactors. The field correspondent recommends The University of Virginia for both. CNU was formed in 1961 as a “lite” version of the College of William of Mary, one of those school with the Roman columns. A little over a decade later, the administrators of Christopher Newport College (as it was named in those days) got rebellious and broke free from the shackles of William and Mary. The social life of CNC’s students showed little improvement. Around 1993 or 1994 CNC was sent to the major leagues in place of an injured university, taking the name Christopher Newport University in the process. Totalitarian rule over the domain of CNU is presently vested in one Paul Trible, former U.S. Senator and Virginia gubernatorial candidate. CNU has succeeded under Trible’s reign, despite the fact that he seems to be more concerned about selling CNU’s resources to the highest commercial bidder than the welfare of the student body that ultimately pays his salary. This is not unlike other carriers of the political virus, and some suspect that Senator Trible (he prefers this term to “President Trible”) is using the presidential post as a stepping stone to reenter the political arena. The largest building on campus is Ferguson Hall, a former high school building, complete with lockers in the hallways and an empty cafeteria. With so many graduates from area high schools matriculating here, CNU often feels like high school -- especially considering that over 90% of the student body commutes. It is a school for which the term “mostly harmless” would be mostly appropriate for.