* Id: Laptops * Revision: 1 * State: submitted * * Log: * Revision 1 1999/09/05 Cheshire Cat * Initial submitted version. * * Checked-out 1999/10/19 Roel van der Meulen Received: from mail-gw.pacbell.net (mail-gw.pacbell.net [206.13.28.25]) by mail-sf1.pacbell.net (8.9.3/8.9.3) with ESMTP id IAA29920 for ; Sun, 5 Sep 1999 08:13:48 -0700 (PDT) Received: from silk.spiders.net (silk.spiders.net [206.24.0.7]) by mail-gw.pacbell.net (8.9.3/8.9.3) with SMTP id IAA00582 for ; Sun, 5 Sep 1999 08:13:47 -0700 (PDT) Received: (qmail 21559 invoked by uid 2590); 5 Sep 1999 15:13:46 -0000 Delivered-To: cleggp-megadodo-webmaster@megadodo.com Received: (qmail 21556 invoked from network); 5 Sep 1999 15:13:46 -0000 Received: from rmx01.mail.com (165.251.48.150) by silk.spiders.net with SMTP; 5 Sep 1999 15:13:46 -0000 Received: from web03_mc.mail.com (web03.pub01.mail.com [165.251.32.12]) by rmx01.mail.com (8.9.1/8.9.1) with SMTP id LAA29093 for ; Sun, 5 Sep 1999 11:13:45 -0400 (EDT) Message-ID: <389765180.936544425490.JavaMail.root@web03_mc.mail.com> Mime-Version: 1.0 X-Originating-IP: 208.160.145.20 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Subject: Submissions From: Cheshire Cat To: webmaster@megadodo.com Date: Sun, 5 Sep 1999 11:13:45 -0400 (EDT) X-Mailer: mail.com Hey. Figured you might need an entry on laptop computers, and since I'm so bored I could apply a shard of glass to mythroat for entertainment, I figured, Hey! Why the hell not? _Notebook and laptop computers_ clever torture devices and profit enhancers. On the planet Earth you might encounter computers that are between the sizes 'handy' and 'big-honkin-desk-behemoth'. However, do not be fooled. These are not useful devices. No, they are to be avoided. Why, you ask? Well, you see, these computers are expensive, if you want one of the Earth's 'top of the line' (pitiful by galactic standards, but hey, they can't even make a reasonable Pan Galactic'!) models, then you must have ample cash, and you must be a masochist. You see, they have small keyboards, garaunteed to give you carpal-tunnel in 2 hours, and they put off more heat than a dysfunctional nuclear-reactor. So by no means should you put the 'lap'top on your lap! Then, the ingenius companies (read ingenius to mean 'crafty evil') decided that they wouldn't make any standard sizes for internals on these little boxes of pain. So, when the Terrans come out with newer, faster, and cheaper hardware, you have to buy a whole new laptop, just to upgrade! Not to mention that the batteries generally last only for about 3 hours, and the pointing devices simply are the farthest from hoopy you could imagine. Touchpads, little green buttons in the middle of the keyboards.. It pains me to think of their shortcomings. Why, if the Vogons knew what a house of pain and anti-logic the Earth was, they would never have cleared out the place! Orders be damned, they just might have taken up shop there! Just left the Constructor Fleet behind and happily galumphed over to Earth where thy could make the inhabitants (quaint little people, really) feel the agony of their poetry. Too bad, we could have gotten rid of all the Vogons along with the humans. One shot. Ah, well. A being can dream, can't it? Well, I need to go, my towel needs to be serviced and I think I'm about to be set upon by a Voracious Insect-Like Sentient Eater. Being that I'm sentient, prudence demands I make an entry about this V.I.L.S.E., but it doesn't seem to be in ! ! ! the mood for conversation. (postscriptum, the name is Murphy Low, dont like to tout it in the email-attachments. thanks) ~(M)~ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "I'm mad. You're mad. We're all mad here." --- The Cheshire Cat "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." --- Ozzy Osbourne - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -