* * IDEABANK: IDEA01.BNK (Article Ideas) * * DATE: 19980220 * * * NUMBER OF ARTICLE IDEAS: 24 * (The hope is that this number will get smaller and smaller...) * * * * I1 -- Abduction By UFOs * I2 -- Why A Sandwich Always Comes In Handy * I3 -- Distance / Visitation Ratio * (I4) -- Wheelchairs (written up and removed) * I5 -- Airports * I6 -- Communicative Paradox * I7 -- Lycanthropy * I8 -- Art of Dying, The * I9 -- Holism * I10 -- Universal Vagueness * I11 -- Stonehenge, ... , England, UK, Earth * I12 -- Hovercraft * I13 -- One Million Chinese Can't Be W'ong * I14 -- Computer Memory * I15 -- Learning Languages * I16 -- Testing, Article II * I17 -- Negative Reality Inversions * I18 -- Bus Problems * I19 -- Cosmic Amusement Park * I20 -- Students Attract Murphy's Law * I21 -- Hunger * I22 -- Small Musea In Your Country/State/Vicinity * I23 -- World Wide Female Conspiracy * I24 -- Water Beds * I25 -- Double Bed * * %t Abduction By UFOs %n I1 %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Faking UFOs %x Opinions On UFOs %x Puerto Rico... %x Roswell... %e In a mini-JIR (journal of irreproducible research) I found the following abstract: 1994-01-04 Low Probability of Any Further Abductions by Aliens by Leonard X. Finegold Physics Department, Drexel University, Philadelphia, PA You may well be worried about being Abducted by Aliens; Jacobs (in "Secret Life- Firsthand Accounts of UFO Abductions"[1]) reports detailed hypnotism-induced regression interviews (in which subjects recall their past) by people who claim to have been abducted by Aliens[2] into UFOs (Unidentified Flying Objects). A numerical analysis, of birth-dates of people who have been Abducted by Aliens, shows that people born after 1970 are not abducted. Hence one may safely assume that the probability of further Alien Abductions is very low, perhaps even zero. [The complete paper, with full details of avoiding Abductions, will appear in a print issue of The Annals of Improbable Research]. Number of Abductees per half-decade 13 x 12 x 11 x 10 x 9 x 8 x 7 x x 6 x x 5 x x x 4 x x x x x x 3 x x x x x x 2 x x x x x x x 1 x x x x x x x ------------------------------------------------------------- 1920 25 30 35 40 45 50 55 60 65 70 75 80 85 90 Year of birth [1] Jacobs, D.M., "Secret Life - Firsthand Accounts of UFO Abductions," Simon & Schuster, New York, 1992. The thesis of the book is that the Aliens temporarily abduct the Abductees into UFOs to use them in sexual reproductive processes. The book features an introduction by John Mack. [2] It should be stressed that "Aliens" means not simply "un-American", but "un-Earthly." Well-documented abductions by aliens from other countries are therefore excluded from this discussion. %e *EOA* %t Why A Sandwich Always Comes In Handy %n I2 %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Feline Butterology Theory %x Quantum Mechanics Of Sandwiches In Lunchboxes %x Field Researchers, How To Recognize %x Gruenau, Namibia, Africa, Earth * This article has been written by John D. Wardle (wardle@efn.org) and is * currently being edited by editor 10 (John Murphy). %e An article about why you should have sandwiches with you at all times when you're hitchhiking. Possibly to fly (see x-ref), for food (obvious), for poison (see x-ref), to fish with (bait), to get transportation (bait horses/mules). I need this article to x-ref to with an article I will wrote on how to recognize a Field Researcher. %e *EOA* %t Distance / Visitation Ratio %n I3 %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %e Relation between the distance from your friends and how many times you visit them (you visit them more when they are close). Also relation between the distance from touristic attractions and how many times/how motivated you are to visit them (you visit touristic attractions more easily when you're on vacation (i.e. when you're a tourist) than you do when you're just at home and there is one in your back yard). Why these relations and compare friends to touristic attractions. (OBconclusion: friends are not touristic attractions.) %e *EOA* %t Airports %n I5 real %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Means Of Transportation For The Earth-Confined Hitchhiker *EOA* %t Communicative Paradox %n I6 %s Contribution Of Vocal Cords To Personality %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %e How people are often much looser when they speak hoarsely (possibly because of a cold, a party, or a hangover. %e *EOA* %t Lycanthropy %n I7 %s Werewolves %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Unicorn, Reality Of %b Mad Mosher (I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk) on 19940617, but I guess he gave up %e From the 19940701 mini-AIR (Annals of Improbable Research): "A Partial Form of Lycanthropy with Hair Delusion in a Manic-Depressive Patient," by H. Verdoux and M. Bourgeois, "British Journal of Psychiatry," vol. 163, pp. 685-686. %e *EOA* %t Art of Dying, The %n I8 %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Art Of Being, The %x Art * This article has been written up by Tomas Michael Tedford * (Omnimancer@DeathsDoor.com) and is being edited by editor 10 (John Murphy). * The e-mail address seems strangely appropriate for this article! %e I have no idea how to fill this one in, so no credits to me. %e *EOA* %t Holism %n I9 %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) (or DNA :-) %e Very good examples of this in the Dirk Gently series of DNA. But please add, or write only about, other ideas about this subject. %e *EOA* %t Universal Vagueness %n I10 %s You Know What I Mean? %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) * I believe this article was written up by someone at one time, but it did * not make it into the archives. *EOA* %t Stonehenge, ... , England, UK, Earth %n I11 %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %e An article simply *has* to be written about this most interesting and fascinating place. %e *EOA* %t Hovercraft %n I12 %s Small Ones And Large Ones %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Transportation Methods for the Earth-Confined Hitchhiker %x Hoovercraft *EOA* %t One Million Chinese Can't Be W'ong %n I13 %e Is it possible to create a whole article based on this funny title? %e *EOA* %t Computer Memory %n I14 %s How To Avoid Using It %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Memory, Article 2 %e Followup/Sequel to my "Memory; how to avoid using it" and the sometime to appear "Memory, Article 2; how to avoid using it". %e *EOA* %t Learning Languages %n I15 %s Problems, Experiences %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) *EOA* %t Testing, Article II %n I16 %c Joachim Lous (Joachim@kih.no) %x Testing * followup to: %x alt.test %e Rob Adams TopFM (roba@nutmeg.ntu.edu.au) wrote on 19940131: > ignore ^^^^^^^ then why post it? > test Hmm. test messages, their purpouse, origin, where they end up and what kind of people don't have the mental capacity to grasp that there are separate groups for this kind of thing seems to be pretty mysterious stuff. Anyone care to write about it? (and, of course their relation to other mindless testing-activities, soundchecks etc. Who IS really that guy going 'two-two. two-two. two-two.' a hundred times into every single microphone on the stage, much more of them than will ever be used during the show, at the soundchecks before concerts? %e *EOA* %t Negative Reality Inversions %n I17 %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %d 19980306 Updated with another quote * MS: I hope I got the attributions for the quotes right. %i Jamais Vu %x Tunneling Theory Of Sock Disappearance %e On alt.folklore.college on 19940108 I found: Re: Misplaced things rhall@Nimitz.mcs.kent.edu (Robert W. Hall) writes: > I don't know if this could qualify as folklore, but... > > I seem to have quite an ability to misplace things and then later find > them (or have them returned to me) without a clue as to their > disappearance. [Examples cut] > My friends (and mother) say I am in a fog. I say that I am always > thinking ahead and don't focus on the mundane details of daily existence > (turning off the TV, turning of my coffee maker, logging out (rarely > forget to, but sometimes),.... > > Rob (Where did I leave those office keys?!) A friend of mine wrote a high school AP Physics paper on the phenomenon of negative reality inversions, wherein small portions of our own reality temporarily flip over to a negative reality, which only differs in very small ways. Those ways include missing pens, socks, keys, et al. When reality flips back, you find your keys, pens, etc. (One of the appendices to the paper mentioned that people in the negative reality have a lot of extra socks, since they take them out of their dryers before reality can flip back.) That friend went to the college I now attend a year before I did, and when I got to that college, I was talking to my RA about the fact that I kept forgetting my keys in my room and had to (a) go to the front desk and get a replacement key or (b) kick the goddamn door in. I mentioned that it was probably an NRI, and he looked at me funny and asked how I knew about those. My friend had spread the UL, almost unintentionally, that NRIs were a new discovery that involved N-dimensional science, and that he was working on it in his work-study job with the physics department. It quickly spread through the engineering students, particularly the ones who weren't real good at the theoretical parts of physics, and a year later, NRIs were an accepted uber-dimensional theory, if only among a small group of people too smart for their own good. Geo. stankow@aludra.usc.edu I asked George to find this friend for me, but unfortunately it proved impossible. But if this guy is still on the net, let him respond! Or write another article about it Oliver Broadway (obroadway@cix.compulink.co.uk): > Ken Campbell came up with another theory - that of "Jamais Vu". I quote: > > (...erm, I can't find it, so I'll paraphrase instead...) > > Deja vu is when you (for example) go somewhere you've never been before > and have a bizarre and inexplicable memory of having been before. Jamais > vu is the reverse - for example, when you walk through your front door and > think, "Christ, I've never been here before." > > My interpretation is that Jamais Vu is essentially a failure to recognize > familiar objects or sensations. So when a key, for example, goes missing - > when you *know* where you left it, but it isn't there - when you've looked > in all the places it could possibly be, and even the places it could not > be by any stretch of the imagination - twice - and still haven't found it > - and when you eventually find it exactly where you *knew* it would be in > the first place, but wasn't when you looked before - that's Jamais Vu. The > key was there, you saw it - you just failed to recognize it. > > This even explains finding it somewhere entirely different - you might > have picked up the key, and moved it somewhere else, while you were > searching for it - all the while failing to recognize it. > > I once saw a demonstration of hypnosis wherein somebody was hypnotized to > be unable to see a lemon, and then asked to find the lemon on a table full > of objects - the lemon was in clear view, right in the middle of the > table, but he couldn't find it. He even picked it up to look underneath > it. Questioned about it afterwards, he said he'd seen the lemon, and > hadn't thought there was anything odd about it - he just hadn't been able > to make the mental connection necessary to identify it as a lemon. But he > hadn't thought, "what's that strange unidentifiable object in the middle > of the table" - you might say his brain had enclosed the lemon in an > Somebody Else's Problem field (to pinch an idea from Mr Adams). I'm > convinced that these strange disappearing keys (or whatever) are the same > sort of thing. Alex McLintock : > vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl "Roel van der Meulen" writes: > > > Oli wrote: > > > > > Ken Campbell came up with another theory - that of "Jamais Vu". I > > > quote: > > > > Well, this almost sounds like an article. A bit of rewriting and you're > > there. Any chance of this happening? > > Please don't. Ken Campbell does write books as well as plays and performs > as a "stand up" and actor. It wouldn't be polite to re-write one of his > sketches/books and call it a PGG article. obroadway@cix.compulink.co.uk ("Oliver Broadway"): > > Please don't. Ken Campbell does write books as well as plays and > > performs as a "stand up" and actor. It wouldn't be polite to re-write > > one of his sketches/books and call it a PGG article. > > Yes, this pretty much echoes my thoughts on the subject, which is why I > didn't write up my original post as an article. > > The nature of his work, however, is such that it tends to inspire ideas > which he has not explicitly stated himself (such as my idea of Jamais Vu > as the explanation for the lost objects phenomenon), and if I ever get > around to it, I may write some stuff for the Guide based on some of these > ideas. > > Ken Campbell is a very talented and inventive writer and performer, as > well as a personal friend, and I certainly have no intention of > plagiarising his work. Alex McLintock : > obroadway@cix.compulink.co.uk "Oliver Broadway" writes: > > > Ken Campbell came up with another theory - that of "Jamais Vu". I quote: > > I just thought I would throw in the comment that Ken Campbell is > absolutely amazing when giving a live performance. I don't know if I can > make an article about him though... In article <34F9E2FF.BB82DF46@ix.netcom.com>, reddred wrote: > I'd like to tentatively point out that the term Negative Reality Inversion > is meaningless. If you invert Negative Reality, you get Positive Reality > which Im assuming is where we all live and write to newsgroups. I think > Physicists should probably have paid more attention in English Grammar > classes. -reddred %e *EOA* %t Bus Problems %n I18 %s Problems With A Popular Method Of Transportation %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Means Of Transportation For The Earth-Confined Hitchhiker %x Busses In The Netherlands * MS: Again, I hope the quote attributions are okay. %e From alt.folklore.urban: Subject: Existential questions in public transportation 24 Feb 1994 smthsen@bcvms.bc.edu (Sean Smith): > This morning, while experiencing once more the joys of our local public > transportation system in foul weather, I recalled a story I'd heard a > number of years ago. It took place in (I think) a city in the Midlands of > England; maybe someone there will remember as well: > > Seems the city's local bus company began receiving complaints from > passengers...or rather, would-be passengers. According to the > complainants, bus drivers were frequently passing by bus stops, even when > there were five, six or more people waiting to get on board (and the buses > were not filled to capacity, either). > > Well, the company looked into the matter, as they say, and a spokesman > issued a reply. Essentially, he said the drivers did not want to make too > many stops on their routes, because this would throw off their schedules. > > Sounds like this company could've used Jean-Paul Sartre as a consultant to > help them sort out their reasons for existence. > > Sean ("Does this sound like an episode of 'Yes, Minister' or what?") Smith 2 Mar 1994 cchoukal@hermes.gac.edu (Christopher Choukalas): > Sounds like you need to get your Sartre straightened out. J-P would have > agreed with the bus drivers. There is no reason for existing. Whether or > not the bus stopped on any given day, the would-be passengers would die > eventually. He would only be prolonging the inevitably. > > I suppose, though, Sartre should have just carried on with life (he did) > and do what he wanted. In the bus drivers' case they did too. > > Chris, Master of all that is Led 2 Mar 1994 smthsen@bcvms.bc.edu (Sean Smith): > > > many stops on their routes, because this would throw off their > > > schedules. > > > > So, um, what's your point ? > > Well, uh, I think the reason this story originally surfaced in whatever > "Believe-it-or-not"-type column I found it in is, when you think about it, > isn't it rather silly that the bus drivers should be more concerned with > keeping their schedules than PICKING UP PASSENGERS? I mean, isn't the > whole point of driving a bus to transport people from one destination to > another rather than to get from Point A to Point B by 5:17 p.m.? Of > course, I'm sure it IS preferable that buses stay within a reasonable time > frame to do so. It just sounds to me like the equivalent of a store > manager forbidding his clerks to allow customers to make purchases, > because this would tend to lessen the store's inventory. > > Sean ("Guess you hadda be there") Smith 3 Mar 1994 v140pxgt@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case): > Sounds to me like this could be some sort of work-to-rule style labor > protest- perhaps the bus company had tried to get by with too few buses > and/or drivers for too many stops, and in that case the drivers' response > seems to me quite justified. Imagine also management that reams the > drivers' asses out for being late (you can measure that, but you can't > tell whether they picked up all their passengers), and it becomes > inevitable. > > During that Amtrak crash in South Carolina a couple of years ago, some of > the surviving passengers complained that the crew's first reaction seemed > to be (in the midst of badly injured people all over) to make sure the > liquor and cigarettes in the store cars were all locked up. That sounds > like a similar situation. > > Dan "I'm not sure I'd want to meet those people's bosses" Case %e *EOA* %t Cosmic Amusement Park %n I19 %s Riding The Black Holes %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Black Holes %e Fun fair attractions in the universe. Balance on the saddle (equilibrium) point of the gravitational field between two massive black holes in merger galaxies. Do other things on the event horizon of black holes. Run the accretion disc. %e *EOA* %t Students Attract Murphy's Law %n I20 %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Murphic Field %e Trust students to find the most far fetched bugs/mistakes/faults (and create some on the way). (Murphic field in students?) %e *EOA* %t Hunger %n I21 %s A Black Hole In The Stomach %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Black Holes %e Everybody knows the feeling of your stomach contracting when in extreme hunger. There's a micro-black hole in your stomach. You have to feed it with external matter, otherwise it will consume your entrails. %e *EOA* %t Small Musea In Your Country/State/Vicinity %n I22 %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %e Describe some of the smallest musea in your vicinity. Focus on the ones where people have made a small museum of things they made or collected as a hobby. The smaller and more pathetic, the better. %e *EOA* %t World Wide Female Conspiracy %n I23 %s Ludicrous Mating Rituals %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %x Mating Habits Of The McBain Initial %e Have you ever noticed all things that males from all animal species in existence (including humans) have to do to attract a female? This ludicrous behaviour is caused by females who reward this behaviour instead of less self degrading behaviour. Notice the resemblance of this idea to the Douglas Adams white laboratory mice who influence human thoughts idea. %e *EOA* %t Water Beds %n I24 %s Back To Our Roots %i Aquatic Ape Theory %c Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl) %e Humans have to sleep/rest to give the muscles some rest that amount for our upright position, as this is genetically not our natural posture. The most comfortable way to sleep is on a waterbed. This can be seen as proof for the Aquatic Ape Theory. I can send you some mail Douglas Adams sent to a certain newsgroup about this aquatic ape theory. %e *EOA* %t Double Bed %n I25 %x Water Beds %c Alex McLintock (alexmc@biccdc.co.uk) %e When you are renting a furnished flat, do you make sure that you get a double bed to impress the ladies? or do you just get as small a bed as possible so that it doesn't take up room. %e *EOA* * * End of file: IDEA01.BNK *