abw@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley) Don Keehung in The Land of Nett - for your perusal and amusal International Computers Limited Thu, 25 Nov 1993 17:41:50 GMT Newsgroups: alt.fan.douglas-adams,alt.galactic-guide With all this talk of creating a *REAL* Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy for CD-ROM, whatever, I thought I'd tell you all about the days when this newsgroup was just a twinkling in our eyes and how the Project Galactic Guide came about and so on. And then I thought "Sod it". So here for your pleasure is the lost tale of Don Keehong in the Land of Nett. He's just a simple kinda guy looking for a warm fire and some marshmallows to toast. Kinda like me I guess... :-) Feel free to distibute this as long as you keep the attribution intact.... normal rules etc. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Don Keehung in the Land of Nett by Andy Wardley (abw@oasis.icl.co.uk) -=- And so it came to pass in the 13th year of the reign of Krintlooper the Most Hatstand that a message was sent forth unto the New Sites of the Land of Nett. And unto them it said, "In the Name of Krintlooper - createth a group" The people were much in awe and said unto the message, "If it is the bidding of Krintlooper then it shall be done. What shall we call the group?" An eyelid the message batted not, as it replied, "alt.fan.douglas-adams". And so it was and it was good. -=- A young man was travelling through the Land of Nett that day. We shall call him "Don Keehung", for that was his name. He had been travelling for some time now and had seen many villages. Many had he passed by, others had he lingered at and watched their ways, and at others still, had he stayed a while, and made merry with the locals, drinking fine ales, dancing and making passes at young maidens fair. For such was his way and the way was his. As darkness fell, he came across a group of settlers huddled around a fire. "Come join us" they bade him, "For we tell tales of the Prophet Adams". Their group was small and as Don sat with them, they related many teachings of the Prophet Adams. And on that first day, the group grew with the telling and the telling grew with them. Don travelled no further and with the group built a proud village. In time, the village grew and was replaced by a mighty fort. And unto the fort they gave the name "Eetoo". Many more travellers came to join the group, and though the occupants welcomed them with open arms and gifts of chocolate fish, they always got just a little bit annoyed that every newcomer asked the same question, "Wherefore calleth thy dwelling by the name 'Fort Eetoo'?". And unto them, the group replied in unison "WE JUST DO, RIGHT!" And the explanation was thus and thus was the explanation. In the days that followed, Don and several others began talk of creating a mighty book. A tome so grand that it would reflect the writings of the Prophet Adams himself. And much did they talk of this around the fire that evening and in evenings to come. "Look here", the others said after much time was spent in this discussion, "We are not interested in creating a book of teachings. We just want to tell tales and toast our marshmallows. Go hence from this place and make your own fire. Around that you may speak of all matters you care of." And so they did. But they were not bitter, for often they returned to Fort Eetoo and always they were welcome and welcome they always were. -=- That night the message rode forth again into the Land of Nett, "Lo, there shall be a new way! People of Krintlooper shall bind their own writings together in the way of the Prophet Adams" "alt.galactic-guide?" said the people. "That'll do!" -=- That night Don had many stories to tell and many ideas to discuss but he was alone for many of his fellow travellers had gone home for Christmas. "Tsk! Easy life!", declared Don, "Waste of tax-payers' money!", but he was not bitter for he too had enjoyed the days of studentship. For those were the days of merriment and merriment was in those days. As Time's Ford Escort raced ever on (the Winged Chariot being reserved for special occasions), the year turned and those who had spoken on the writings came to sit around Don's fire. There was much talk of what would be said, how it would be written, where the writings would be stored and whether the binding should be in red or green. But not much was actually written. That was the way of the group and the binding should have been BLUE! In the days to come, some went from the fire and made work on the writings of the World. For these were in honour of the Great Prophet and that was the goal. Others went and toiled in the building of a great library in which to store the works. And the building was fine and people looked in awe. Some, however, satisfied themselves by sitting around the fire proclaiming "Look at the great work that is being done. See! Look what I have made happen! Verily we should be proud." And many got tired of these speeches and went on their way. For that is often the way of the World; when all is said and done, more has been said than done. Don grew tired of all the noise and shouting around the fire and decided that he should once again take to the road. Often did he visit them and marvel at the works that had been created and the grand library in which they resided but never did he settle as he had around the fire when the group was young and the spirit was willing. But proud he was in the part he had played and he played with the part that was proud. And then one day the Prophet Adams himself came to Fort Eetoo. Don was there at the time and witnessed the great unveiling. "Lo Prophet Adams" he declared and fell to his knees, "Erm, Hello" said the wise one. And in the days to come, the Prophet Adams spoke with his people and smiles were big and fat and everyone rejoiced and thought that life was as nice as if specially comissioned by the Nice Society of the Land of Nett. The population swelled and the swelling was popular. Shortly after that time, the cry went up around the Fort, "Behold, an idea has been grown that will change this World. For we shall create a great writing that will honour the Prophet Adams, for as he has sent us his writings, we shall send ours onto the World. And the Great Prophet Adams will smile upon us and help us in our task." Don stood up before the great assembly and calmly said unto them, "Do you ever get the feeling of Deja Vu?" And the crowd looked unto him as if he was wonky in the head and said "No Don, what talkst you of?". "Never mind", said Don, "I'll be in my tent if anyone wants me...." And so it was in the Land of Nett. -- _/ , ' _/_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ _/ _/ -o O- Andy Wardley _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ L abw@oasis.icl.co.uk _/_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ _/ _/ - Voice: +44 (0)344 473174